"The status of your business and your mental health are closely related: high highs, but also very low lows"
What if you no longer feel happy in your own company? It happened to Troy Muyshondt, who co-founded a tech start-up. He and his co-founders built the software company there at a rapid pace. Despite their growth, the entrepreneur no longer felt at home there. "I realize now that chasing that unicorn status is not necessarily going to make me happy," he said.
From 0 to 100
Today we find Troy mostly at The Cross in Puurs, the fitness center he has only just bought into. A 180° degree turn, it seems. Yet this switch from the technology sector to the sports world comes as no surprise to his close circle. "I've always loved sports, including at this club. On weekends, I even taught here. And I love listening to podcasts about athletes and health. That I can now combine entrepreneurship with another passion of mine makes me happy."
Troy will stress several times how it feels like all the puzzle pieces have now fallen together for him - yet running a sports club was not immediately the future the energetic entrepreneur envisioned. "I helped build that previous company from scratch with the other co-founders. My dream was to start a software start-up," he says. "During my year in business school, there was a focus on who you are and what you want to do. I found that a difficult question, because I simply didn't know. In the end, I decided I wanted to work in a small company, but one with a good idea."
"That you're a small fish, but can still change something in the world, that concept really appealed to me. By chance, then, I rolled into such a business. The process of starting something from scratch, building a company from the ground up, completely suited me. But developing software? I didn't actually get very excited about that, I realize now."
"Still, I was driven, though," Troy stresses. "I really wanted to go for that unicorn. If it had progressed faster, or if we had just a little more luck , I might still be there. Although now I see that maybe that unicorn path just isn't for me. I don't necessarily have to have a crazy start-up to be happy."
Bullshit excuses
An initial seed of doubt is planted when the start-up suddenly becomes less buoyant. Not abnormal in those first turbulent start-up years, but it does shake up something in Troy. "We were at a low point with our company, and that often correlates with how you feel as an entrepreneur. Being an entrepreneur is high highs, but more importantly it's also very low lows. We may have just raised funding, but we had no idea what to do with the money. In addition, our entire team had quit. We still had zero vision."
A personal low point for the otherwise enthusiastic entrepreneur. "I wasn't really happy then, no. I shared my concerns with a good friend. He told me about Rubicon, of which he himself was a member. He recommended that I attend a session with them. I really threw my whole story out there. I thought: 'I don't know these people', and it was also via video call. I felt I could say anything I wanted. Being able to get my heart out really felt good."
"I also got a lot of good input from the other entrepreneurs. Some of them had experienced a similar story. But they did push me hard," Troy confesses.
"Look, as a human being you often tell yourself bullshit. You start making up a story that you believe yourself. But meanwhile you don't look at what's really going on. Then when you tell that story in a group like that, there are always people who say, 'no, boy, I know what's really wrong with you.' At that point you really need that too."
"I remember as a challenge I wanted to create more time for myself. More time to exercise, more time to travel," says the entrepreneur. "Now I know that was just the tip of the iceberg - in fact, it was already wrong inside back then. I was out of place at my previous company, but hiding it under the guise of 'wanting more time.' I really got to know myself at Rubicon, which I can only recommend to anyone."
Feeling Fire
In the end, Troy hesitates for more than a year before he dares to tie the knot - but he realizes that his mental health comes at the expense of the start-up. ""At one point, I really wasn't happy anymore. When you wake up and you really don't feel like your day ... I never thought it would happen to me, but still it did. That's hard."
"Without a plan B, I broke the news to my co-founders that I wanted to leave. And as if it was meant to be, a day later I got the offer to buy into The Cross."
Troy suddenly rolls into a very different world, but he knows immediately that it is the right move. "I knew this would make me happy. During the week, I was always counting down to the training I would give here on the weekend. While that was actually also 'work,' yet it energized me. Then I realized: I need to do this more."
"The Cross also gives me peace in my undertaking in a way," Troy says. "I'm much less concerned with the end result, we'll see what it gives. I know I'll be amused at the end, and that's what counts. I didn't have that before - back then it was all about achieving certain goals for me. Should that business have failed, I knew I would regret it. Of this I don't."
If Troy takes one thing away from his entrepreneurial journey, it's that as a founder, you have to be especially passionate about what you do. "You really have to feel that fire as an entrepreneur. I think you can build a great company otherwise, but you will never reach your true potential. And that's a shame. There are a hundred thousand things you can do, you always have to think carefully: is this it?"
"It's obviously a difficult balance: do you just go through a difficult moment, or do you really run out of energy? I think even on difficult days it should give you energy, so you can get yourself through it. Otherwise you're not in the right place anymore," Troy sounds convinced.
Balance out of balance
Whether the entrepreneur then jumped without any fear? "I did have trepidation about making my passion my full-time job. I wondered if I was still going to like it. Wouldn't the fun factor go out of it? But fortunately sports still offers me relaxation. And the nice thing is that now I can just do it at work(laughs)."
"Although I also have to stop myself from going too hard. I don't know much balance," Troy admits. "I'm someone who can be very extreme in things, a weakness, but also a strength. I also enjoy working hard - I loved helping build my previous start-up. But sometimes I do lose the pedals on that front, yes."
"Everything is new and you just want to jump right in. But at the same time I also realize that coming home late and crawling straight into bed is not so healthy. Resting moments are important, that keeps it fun. Sometimes you have to stop yourself so you can look forward to it again. But even though I don't have much balance now, I feel top-notch mentally. That was different a while back."
"It sounds cliché, but now I really realize that you have to do what you love, every day. Happiness, that should be your biggest priority in life."
Troy, thanks to support from the City of Antwerp was able to follow the Rubicon program for a full year. The City of Antwerp is thus committed to the personal development of its entrepreneurs. During this year, Troy was surrounded by entrepreneurs of his caliber, who were able to challenge and support him at regular intervals in his trajectory as an entrepreneur.
